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If you happen to meet Superman, what is your first question that you gonna ask him?

It has been a week, but hardly can I survive within a week. I do not know when I have became so weak and helpless, totally unlike myself, started to avoid the problems and don’t even know how to face it, I wasn’t like that.

Every time I’m trying my best to absorb every single thing by myself without telling or informing anyone, so that they would not worry about me especially my love one. However, things doesn’t go as planned, the problems seems to be rolling and swelling in your stomach, makes you feeling nauseous and you wanna split it out so badly. Unfortunately, the split was disgusting, can clearly seen to be mixed with tears and blood.

The problems keep happening, it is exactly same like a timing explosion, it could be explode anytime, without notice. While I’m trying my best to deactivate it, but how should I get started? Should I cut the red, yellow, or blue wires? Red represents relationship, once I have chosen red I know I will be regret for the rest of my life, but it is also one of the ways that he could have better living and happier life, rather than being suffered together with me. If yellow is my choice, I can hardly seeing friendship to be in the awkward moments due to certain sensitive topics, besides, I seriously do not know how to put it. If I have chosen blue, it is because I am avoiding.

Eventually I chosen red and blue wire, I was leaving yellow aside, but both cut wires are good enough to bring me into hell. I was confused, I neglected the importance of blue wire, as it is linked with red and yellow wires, cutting it off is just same as cutting myself into two, causing explosion. It has caused harm and injuries to everyone, while I was being dragged into black hole, totally collapsed. It is okay to be ugly, but the bleeding heart will hardly recover.

I was like a ghost that has lost its soul, not even can be described as a human, was wandering around alone in the gym, park, shopping malls and etc., as long as there is a place that where can accommodate me, I will surely grab it. The concerns only came to me when they are closing; the only place that could still accept and accompany me is my car. Sometimes I have chosen to walk around the streets like a vagrant dog, with no idea, rationality and directions, when time is up, then will only think of going home. There are times I was over-stress and was screaming out loud in the gym. Those who heard my screaming were neglecting me, while the one screamed hear nothing but grabbing own hair real tight and thinking to pull all the problems off the head.

Frankly I am afraid of being alone. I have my friends and lover to company me, most of the time I am not lonely. Many even told me that “one of two friends is more than enough.” I do not have much buddies around me, it is countable with a palm that has 5 fingers. I was so dislike being alone but now I have no choice, but to be alone, and I know the person that will be suffering is me. Majority of the time, I would think of friends that used to accompany me, whenever I think of my love one, it is even more heartache, that I wonder if I could control the flow of tears that flooding my eyes.

I have ever thought of confessing everything to her, but I am just too afraid of fights and arguments. We both are hot temper, looks hard from the outside but soft in the inner. I look tough from the outside, but real weak inside. By the time I reached home, she is already asleep; looking at her pretty face while she is sleeping in my arms, with no temper, it is the time that melts my heart most, pampering and it would already satisfied me.

I have to say I am really guilty as she is the one I love, however I could give her what she wants.

Back to the first topic, if I happened to met Superman, what question will I be asking?

滴下的每一滴泪水都有背后的故事

一句简单的留言

谢谢人在澳洲的 Jamie Wong

Seriously, you make my day :) 

cheer up Merv! Take your time to produce a quality post :D

 You don't blog to please readers. You do it for yourself, to record what and to write whatsoever you like isn't it?

Friday, June 25, 2010 10:05:00 AM